That you shouldn’t believe everything you see in movies, from the absurd to the terrifying, is a lesson in and of itself.
There’s a meeting of the minds necessary, filmmakers. As much as anyone, we enjoy a good story that takes us away from reality. For the sake of truth, we won’t be traveling to the movies or seeing the latest releases online. But, my friends, don’t you believe we can do better when it comes to filming births? Because most of you are men and have not had children of your own, you’re not doing a very good job portraying an experience that each of us will have at some point in our lives. Now that we’ve all had enough of screaming at our television screens, let’s chat about the worst movie birth scenes.
About 400,000 kids are born every day according to the United Nations, so there are plenty of alternatives. Every single person who gave birth on that day had twins, which means that 200,000 people may be asked to help you improve your depiction of the miracle of life a tad.
This article’s “worst” scenes will be defined as either absurd in their inaccuracy or just plain difficult to see, so keep that in mind. Although there is a great deal of overlap, believe us:
1. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1
It’s impossible to even begin to describe the horrors of this delivery scenario. Even in a world with sparkly vampires, the high drama and grotesquery push the boundaries of what can be believed.
The blood-soaked, immortal, rapidly aging CGI baby (again, take your time) and Bella’s two-week-yet-full-term pregnancy (take all the time you need with that one) draining her life force; Rosalie (a vampire) going wild at the sight of blood during a high-stakes, at-home, unmedicated c-section delivery; Edward, Bella’s vampire husband… we just can’t unsee it…
Oh. And Bella’s ex-boyfriend falls head over heels for the newborn. As a result… feel free to accept that as well.
2. Gone With The Wind
We shouldn’t anticipate a realistic portrayal of birth in Gone with the Wind, given that it was released in 1939, a time when the phrase “Frankly, my darling, I don’t give a damn” was deemed scandalous. Scarlet O’Hara doesn’t even give birth to her daughter Bonnie in the film. Our list of “WTF” birth moments includes what we witness.
A week after giving birth, Scarlet is in bed with no postpartum tummy in sight, her hair and makeup flawlessly coiffed, and her robe, which, I’m sorry, would not last more than two hours of postpartum discharge. Is it possible to do this on a technical level? Yes, we’ve all got a pal that looks like a model right after giving birth. Scarlet O’Hara, if anyone could be, but we’re calling BS on this whole thing.
There are many flaws with Gone With The Wind, but this one is probably at the bottom of them all.
3. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
The characters of Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia are among the most endearing in cinematic history. In Revenge of the Sith, it’s difficult to fathom how the Death Star’s advent into the galaxy could be so disastrous. But… let me share a specific dialogue.
There is no reason to worry about her, according to a robot doctor. “We’re losing her for reasons we don’t understand.”
“Is she going to die?” asks a very attractive and bearded Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi, while cartoon Yoda looks on in intuitive concern.
There is no explanation for this. “She’s lost the will to life,” the robot tries to explain, but doesn’t quite get it right. “If we want to save the babies, we must act swiftly.”
Padmé Amidala, the mother of Luke and Leia, died in delivery as a result of this.
That’s because she’d given up on life.
Yeah. No. Nothing works like that. The fact that Darth Vader is the father of your child does not automatically result in your death during labor.
At 1:20 in this hilarious film, take a look at a particularly terrible shot. We’re supposed to think that’s a pregnant mom with identical twins.)
4. What To Expect When You’re Expecting
What to Expect When You’re Expecting, based on the “pregnancy Bible” of the same name — a regular read for many pregnant parents – illustrates the wide range of experiences one might have while pregnant. Since none of these show birth in a really true manner, it’s a little strange.
Doctor: “You’re 10 centimeters, but the baby isn’t coming; we’ll need to prepare for a c-section.” Elizabeth Banks’ character She hasn’t pushed yet, so it’s not true.) I’d like to know a little more about this. To Brooklyn Decker’s perfectly blow-dried hair physically sneezing out a twin, there’s… a lot going on here.
5. Baby Mama
Amy Poehler’s character, Angie, yelling “It feels like I’m sh*tting a knife!” during a contraction is highly accurate, however the beginning of the scenario displays an erroneous stereotype that we despise: water bursting. The first gush before the first contraction isn’t how most women go into labor — only around 10% of people do. That gush, though…
Not exactly “fall at your feet in a large pool all at once,” as the expression goes. It’s a gradual buildup of little gushes. Rather than a tsunami, think of it as a series of waves. Baby Mama isn’t the first or only film to make this mistake, but its presence on our list emphasizes exactly how it normally goes.
6. Nine Months
Look, we’re big fans of the cast and the film. Robin Williams takes the role of a helpless doctor! Julianne Moore, the queen of charm! Big break for Hugh Grant in the States!
From the moment Moore begins labor, we haven’t been able to locate a break in her contractions. Her labor has been marked by groans, screams, and/or howls. Because that’s not the case, even in the most difficult stages of labor, you get a brief respite between each contraction. It appears that her labor began with a contraction and continued till she gave delivery.
7. Also Nine Months
Both of the pregnancies depicted in Nine Months include inaccurate birth scenarios. In the midst of labor, Joan Cusack hurls invective at her husband as he stands dopey with a hand-held camera, a scene that is both comic and rare. Contrary to popular belief, this stage of labor is not as critical as we are led to believe by Hollywood to believe.
Like Baby Mama, we’re utilizing this moment as a stand-in for all other instances of this trope. When it comes to overblown scenes, Joan Cusack is flawless and can do no wrong.
8. The Back Up Plan
People’s perceptions of what a home birth is like vary widely, even among those who have no prior knowledge or interest in giving birth at home. In this scene, Jennifer Lopez plays a single mother who witnesses a friend’s home birth. We’ve never witnessed a home delivery with chanting and drumming before.
9. Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life
Despite the fact that it’s inaccurate, this scenario will not be counted as a negative one. Because of how well Monty Python has parodied childbirth at its worst, it’s not the worst. “You do nothing sweetie, you’re not qualified!” is the constant refrain from doctors who worry more about impressing hospital management and bottom lines than about the well-being of their patients. Many people who have had painful births can identify with the depersonalization of both the mother and the infant in this film.
Pregnant women in particular will find this film to be a nightmare. The fact that it’s all metaphor and allegory doesn’t make the idea of scratching and crawling past hordes of your husband’s voracious admirers any less horrifying.